Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
