I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
