Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
