you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
