Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
