I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Holy sore nipples Batman
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
