So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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