just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
