I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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