i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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