i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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