I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
