I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
