and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
