Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i dont even know how to be here
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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