I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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