I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
