lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
