if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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