dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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