i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
