2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
