If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
