belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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