Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
