i barfeds in our rink
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
