problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
