i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
