even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
