Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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