pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
