It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
