she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
