I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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