Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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