on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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