WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
