no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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