her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
