dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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