your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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