He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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