I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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