JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
