I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Randomize
