I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
