I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
