ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
