if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
