There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
