Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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