I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
