so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
