I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize