just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
