dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All the doctor said was why
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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