Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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