is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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