Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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