maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
