just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
